guerrilla mama medicine

Adam Dachis at Lifehacker: Being the Better Person Will Teach People to Treat You Like Crap

whamola:

“We’re taught to turn the other cheek—that being kind in the face of hostility is the better way to respond to conflict so love can overcome hate. According to psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus, writing for Psychology Today, that sort of reaction just teaches abusive people that their behavior is effective. Here’s why.

It all comes down to something called the “Law of Effect”, which refers to the way people interpret and understand the behavior of others. For example, if someone treats you poorly and you treat them kindly, the effect produced by their bad behavior is your affection. By being nice to mean people, you’re essentially creating a reward system for bad behavior.

This doesn’t mean you should devolve into a complete asshole anytime you encounter one, but it is important to remember that there is such thing as being too nice. When someone does something that bothers you, it’s important to take that immediate opportunity to tell them. Being kind is often just an excuse to avoid necessary conflict. You don’t have to be a jerk, but you do have to confront the situation or risk encouraging the bad behavior you’re seeking to prevent.”

(via telegantmess)

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   “We’re taught to turn the other cheek—that being kind in the face of hostility is the better way to respond to conflict...

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   Hey, look, now we can all cite a good ol’ fashioned scientific study to prove to folks why responding to racism (and...

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    zorascreation: Um, no.

20. cosmicrubric reblogged this from ethiopienne and added:

    I have felt and had to deal with so much pain in pursuit of being the better person. So many times I have wanted to let...

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    This is good. Lots of people only get half of the picture, not realizing that you can’t just stop at nonviolence. Dr....

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    Oh, good, I’m glad this came past again. I was looking...last week and couldn’t find it.

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    This almost feels like inconsistent parenting. What I mean is the reward for bad behavior equals encouraging bad...

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    I really need to show my mom this every time she pulls the “youre so militant and radical why dont you be more mellow...

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